perfection of the heart.

fall leaves

Photo taken with my Nikon SLR


I just did a meditation, and clarity arose this feeling I have been carrying with some of my life events that just feel…like I wish things were different.

I once read in a mindfulness book that the Buddha considered patience to be perfection of the heart, a basic spiritual quality that can exhibit our deepest nature.

My meditation guru Tara Brach says it so beautifully. “Patience is the capacity to feel at home, to be accepting in the face of the tension and anxiety of stress.”

To feel at home.

Sometimes, I find, it’s at home, this place of safety, that the truths of our world are ones we wish were different, are ones that harbor fear.

Because at home, we are most vulnerable.

I am learning that most of these wishes, these fears, come from my attachments.

And like the philosophies tell us, we must detach.

But how?

How can I detach as a mother, a daughter, a wife, a loving friend, a soul sister, a teacher in this world?

I am finding though that releasing attachment does not mean not loving. It does not mean releasing the sweetness of true intertwined beautiful relationship, of roots and deep creviced memories that feel good to stir up with smiles and laughter.

Releasing attachment does not meant disconnecting. I am finding it is quite the opposite.

By releasing attachment of wanting this life we live to be a certain way, awareness steps in.

Hearts open more and the clouds of future doubt and stress dissolve.

It’s knowing that life is here, in this moment of patience. We can remember what really matters, rather than “what is wrong”, what hurts, how it can be “different”… but just being with life in the capacity that it is.

Today, on this slightly chilly fall Sunday, I am choosing to be with life, in my home, in my sacred temple of inner reflection, thought, love and being, with an embracing of warmth of all my inner vulnerabilities, of my partner’s smiles and even his anxieties, of my daughter’s sweet deep belly laugh and 2 year old tears, and of the bounty of nature I am blessed to live in. This feels perfect to my heart.