page in my pregnancy diary.

 

Everything felt heavy for a minute

Felt like weeks

In the days that the rain had come down hard in words and thunder around me

And it had left a residue of gray clouds in my mind as I pieced together what was left in this time

Time is moving fast

Yet my body is heavier and slower in these last few weeks of carrying life

Soon he will emerge

And enter this world

Anxiety of perfectionism patterns set in

The nesting crept up on me

As our home reeked havoc

with 3 year old footsteps

Everything in storage…

We are half in and half out

The heaviness

So I started to fall off my balance beam

As a kid I remember gymnastics and standing on the beam finding a focus and breathing

Like my yoga mat now a days

And it came back to me

As light breaking through that dark

The reminder

Of presence

As I hold belly with awe

And balance

As I kiss my daughter with heart

And nurture

As I hug myself with self care

And feel love

In that light

Shifting my focus

From needs

To gratitudes

Doesn’t mean I don’t need

What I voiced

Simplicity of touch

In my vulnerability

But I found what matters

And a new focus gives me space

To breathe

Into my own feminine power

Smile

At the beauty of my little girl wearing sunglasses in the sand

And be one

With the life I am blessed to carry

As I protect him from negative

Remind myself of my wholeness

I am love.

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